This post is to a younger version of myself..
I know right now you feel like you don't have a lot and the things you do have aren't really there.I know that you have been stuck for a while but trust me when I say this, it gets so much better in the end.
There are many roller-coasters that you will have to ride along the way but you will ride all of them and you will come out the other side.
The end of the year (2013) will be one of the most questionable ones yet, but you will feeling so free once it's all over. That feeling of needing to be loved , I get it but please don't rush it , stop jumping; just take a moment to pause and look at yourself.
As no one will fully understand you, until you know who you really are.
Although you will feel cheated by people that you never thought you would, you will have the most amazing support behind you the whole way.
You will have to most amazing adventures with your cousin and meet a few awesome people along the way.There will be a point in the next few years that you will finally except the way you are, looks and all.
Your family will go through a lot in the next year but you will be strong, you know what will be the outcome of it all. Hard! It will be trust me when I say that but at least you will feel somewhat prepared. Your darkest hours will be after this time but it will get better.
Anyway, on a bright side the summer(2014) will be full of adventures, you will go mountain climbing, scrabbling and even raise money for amazing causes along the way. Even when your home you will be surrounded by all the people you love.
I know that right now you are getting close to year 11 and you have realised that you are not doing what you want to do, but you will.
September of 2014 you will start your media course(your true passion) and you will meet amazing people.That feeling of wanting to be loved won't be there anymore because you'll have it and although you are not that easy to understand sometimes but that person will stick by you even when it's hard.
That horrid feel that you get when you lose people close to you it will be answered, you will find out why you feel like that and it will feel like the most amazing feeling to know.
And that brings me to now as I write this, I have not long turned 17 years old and I'm currently loving everything in my life.
So 15 years old me, hold on because you will be the happiest person you can be very very soon.
Thanks for reading
Kate
x